i love jokes! do you?

well, i certainly do because they make me laugh and happy! here are some that i find really hilarious. if you don't, guess we're not of the same species! get it? or maybe not...

*cricket sound*

AIYAH, i'm just pretending to be lame okay. don't take that too seriously!

this post is partly for meithing(joke partner)! since you're so sad nowadays, read this and cheer up okay :) and never ever forget about DING DONG!

these are chinese jokes and they are super funny! LOL i keep on laughing when i read them!

That's not right...
Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?...
Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man...
Dum Gai

Small Horse...
Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?...
Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table...
Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a face lift...
Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here...
Wai So Dim?

I thought you were on a diet...
Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone...
No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week...
Wai Yu Kum Nao?

Staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his automobile...
Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive...
Yu Stin Ki Pu

Yo Mama so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Your mama so fat that when she stepped on the scale it said 1 person at a time please
Yo Mama so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!

Some cheeeeeesy pick-up lines:

if i followed you home, will you keep me?

I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!

A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck.

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!

Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you're da bomb.

It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!! (HEY! THAT'S MINE >:B )

I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?

People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!

Was your father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!

I think you just stole something. [What?] My heart.

Some are actually so sweet :) even if they are corny.

I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel!

I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you. (i love this)

your eyes are blue as an ocean and baby, i'm lost at the sea.

SO HOW do you like them? those are my personal favourites so i'm not sure about you guys! HAHA, the pick-up lines are gooooooooooooood but dirty and i will defo use them of some on my guy friends >:)

there are very little jokes because the jokes that i have searched doesn't seem to catch my attention because some were either

a) too TOO TOO dirty
b) too racist
c) not FUNNY at all
d) don't get them

but visual jokes rocks my socks! (i'm not wearing any tho)

AIN'T IT CUTE? (L)

HAHAHA DAMN HILARIOUS! makes sense doesn't it?

BEHOLD LADIES,

THIS IS THE HOTTEST MAN IN THE WORLD SO FAR

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patience, patience

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to see a guy this hot you need to be patient

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its worth the wait :)

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PSSH, i know he's too hot that you need a glass of cold water to tame you down!

OH NO! i have been influenced by these corny pick-up lines!

but they sure are good! *winks*

how about one of my own lines? i think i used this on Bruce once:

you make my tears dissappear into gas and make my heart melt into liquid!

HEY HEY HEY, i know its super lame but at least i exude a little Science in there! Einstein would be so proud of me! OH MAN! i am getting lamer and lamer by the minute!

will stop here then before these jokes fry my brain cellzZZZzz

HEHEHEH!

btw, you guys can play this game if you're bored: http://http://media.y8.com/games/content/Speed-Dating.swf

Labels: jokes

H'LO people!

today is the day i turned sixteen! suweeeeeeeet xD


actually, there's not much difference, its just another day afterall....NOT!

i feel very happy today and i am still feeling the same because.....i am now drinking soya bean (L) while typing this with three of my plushie toys lying beside me. 0:)

here's a pic of my plushies!

Labels: birthdays, hangout

meet my new favourite plushie toy!

SUGAR GLIDER! HEHEH!

^^

its too cute to be resist! however, i feel sorry for pooh-pooh cause he has been neglected. :(

guess what day is tomorrow? *hint hints*

ps: like my floral bow headband? ;)
pps: i hope noone in Brunei have it. anyway, they only like rocker stuffs.

Labels: random

HELLO! :D

follow me on twitter if you have an account too! if not, make one and follow me! x)

http://twitter.com/27lilian

i have switched from plurk to twitter. there's nothing much special about twitter except for its cute name i guess. reminds me of Tweety.

compared to plurk, twitter lacks from its design and emoticons. plurk have a wide range of emoticons and you can even customized your own layout!

the only downside of plurk is that your karma(points) will drop if you don't update it everyday. i'm seriously fed up with that kind of system.

i guess i will continue using twitter until i get fed up with it. however, i'm still missing plurk :(

plurk's emoticons are cute y'know! and i had just reached plurk nirvana!

should i continue using plurk or twitter?

Labels: plurk, twitter

HELLO :D

yesterday was my advanced sweet sixteen birthday party. i was glad that most of the people i invited came. i was sooooooooooo worried for days before the party. i had a lot of what ifs such as "what-if no one is talking" "what if people find my party boring" or "what if most of the people i invited told me they couldn't come at the last minute?"

*points finger at meithing*

she told me at the very last minute that she couldn't come and i was so sad. :( i wanted her to come so badly but in order to show her that i'm still happy, i sent her a sarcasm message and she replied "fuck you, i'm coming bitch"

did you trick me? if yes, then i was seriously fooled by you.

way, all of these pictures are from my phone. i will post the cam pictures prolly after i get the pictures of me cutting the cake from Vanesa and Jaywen.

MY MUM'S CAMERA DIED AT THE LAST MINUTE! *stomps on the floor*

i should have brought an extra battery man! after going through all the pics that i took with the camera, i realized that i looked horrible in most of them :( MAYBE ALL of them! damn it! they are so ugly that i don't feel like posting them up!

T____T

nvm, i will steal some nice pictures from the rest of the gang. heh heh heh >:D

i received this lil note from the seller that i purchased headbands from. isn't it so sweet? i was so touched by it. :)

usually when you order something online, you will ALWAYS have to make the payment first then only you can get your purchases but not in this seller's case. she sent me the items on the same day i mailed her the money. SO nice right?

if i asked other sellers to do that, i bet they will immediately say N.O. i am trustable okay. *grits teeth*

i was fascinated by the design of the glasses. :3

orange punch.

Labels: birthdays, friends, holiday, party, swine flu